Fearless Fish Out of Water

By Nathaniel Muhammad

 

I have recently read an excellent book entitled The Fearless Fish Out of Water by Robin Fisher Roffer. It talks about how one can succeed when you are the only one like you. Many of us think that it is very difficult being different even though we are the same. One tends to blame ourselves for the situations we find ourselves in sometimes. We may blame it on our gender, our age, too young, too old, our nationality, our religion and the list goes on. What the author is trying to help the reader to understand is that for those of us who feel that we don't fit it, then that could be a plus point, if we truly see it that why. When we are different, people expect to see different things from us. That too is a good thing.

One should allow our differences to move us to higher and greater heights rather than to allow them to pull us down, which often time is the case. This book really hit home for me. The author wrote as though she was speaking directly to me, and as if she knew me personally, when in fact she does not even know that I exist.

Having lived in Malaysia for the last 17 and a half years, I have often felt out of place, and at times trying to fit in. For me, trying to fit in just doesn't work. Yes, you may dress like the people here, talk like the people here and even begin to think like them, but the bottom line is, you are not them. Thank God, I know who I am. The key element that one will get from this book is that one must always be true to oneself. There is no if, and or but about it. You have to be you.

It's like being an actor, given a role to play. Yes, we may act the part wonderfully. We may even fool the audience. But for sure, you can not fool yourself. So instead of trying to be what others want me to be, I said to hell with it. Be yourself, man.

When you are being yourself, you enjoy who you are. When you are being true to yourself it shows on your face, and people can see that clearly. As being an architect, I have demonstrated to my clients that I am confident, knowledgeable and professional. Acting is not one of the traits I want to have. I want my clients to see and get to know the real me, not some person they thought I should be.

For example, I would call a developer's office with the intention of wanting to meet with the managing director or a decision maker in the organization to introduce my company to. I would give my name and other details that the secretary may ask for. A date and time is set for me to meet the managing director of the company. On the specified date, I arrive to their office for the meeting. Upon entering the office I introduced myself to the secretary that I've spoken to over the phone earlier. "No, you can not be Nathaniel Muhammad. He is an American", the secretary would say. "Yes, I am Nathaniel Muhammad", I would say as kindly as I could without showing that I was getting upset with her reaction. Eventually, the secretary said as a mater of fact, "You can not be Nathaniel Muhammad, because he is an American and Americans are white." Need I say more? I could have turned that uncomfortable situation for her into a down right ugly one, but I didn't. I allowed my being different to being a key to unlock her closed mind. I very briefly educated her about what is an American. By being kind and somewhat understanding of her lack of knowledge about Americans, I was able to become friends with her. Unfortunately, I wasn't able to secure a job with that developer, but I was able to be true to myself and very respectfully and professionally, held my ground. I would like to encourage all to get a copy of this book and read it from cover to cover. It is overflowing with words of advice and encouragement. Thank you very much Robin Fisher Roffer for a wonderful book.